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Saturday, March 27, 2010
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Has it been this long?
I have been one very busy lady over the past few months. A applied and was accepted into LAW SCHOOL! We move in three weeks. I must say, it is pretty exciting to be moving closer home and to a less redneck location. My real reason for the disappearing act is the thesis that has been eating my soul for the last few months. It is incredibly frustrating to be churning and churning at the same piece of literature only to have it be ripped apart by people who don't really understand it. Incredibly. I am finished now and I will be walking in May. This comes at a great time since I will be supporting A for the next three years, on his promise that I will get to make babies and eat bonbons for many years after that.
It has been 7 months since we talked to A's parents as well. This is a tremendous step for him. As the child of an immeshed and abusive mother, all success is done in small steps. It is amazing to see how far he has come since we started dating, and most certainly since we became friends. He has really come into his own. It has been a beautiful year, 2010.
Hmm. So a back story for today. It's sad, I don't even remember all the stories I have told it has been so long.
I'll try this one: way back in the days when A and I lived in our college dorm and he was dating my roommate.... Mind you he was female in this part of our story.... she and I ran into each other on our dorm balcony. This wasn't atypical, as we both enjoyed a cigarette every now and then, and the balconies of our dorm were something of a social scene. My boyfriend at the time was there, his poor country self, and we got into a long conversation. Being that the conversation started late (probably after the bar closed) and we were talking for such a while, we became very hungry. In the small town where our college was, there was no waffle house to speak of, so we decided to stay up the rest of the night and grab breakfast when the first small town diner opened. We managed to stay up that night, and watched the sunrise. I was so comfortable with her, I enjoyed her so. We shoved into his two seater truck and drove toward the rising sun. Towards breakfast, I thought, not the future where I would be dating the girl (boy) on my right instead of the boy on my life. How serendipitous life is, and how well orchestrated our paths are.
Food for thought: Thought I don't directly identify as a lesbian, I am still very drawn to lesbians. I can "see" them, even when they aren't "out". It is an unspoken understanding of our sameness and differentness from others. It isn't a facial structure, clothing, or a haircut, it is something internal. This begs a question, if it is an unspoken mutual understanding and I am recognizing the "lesbian" in them, what are they recognizing in me. I know they see me, I just wonder what they see about me.
It has been 7 months since we talked to A's parents as well. This is a tremendous step for him. As the child of an immeshed and abusive mother, all success is done in small steps. It is amazing to see how far he has come since we started dating, and most certainly since we became friends. He has really come into his own. It has been a beautiful year, 2010.
Hmm. So a back story for today. It's sad, I don't even remember all the stories I have told it has been so long.
I'll try this one: way back in the days when A and I lived in our college dorm and he was dating my roommate.... Mind you he was female in this part of our story.... she and I ran into each other on our dorm balcony. This wasn't atypical, as we both enjoyed a cigarette every now and then, and the balconies of our dorm were something of a social scene. My boyfriend at the time was there, his poor country self, and we got into a long conversation. Being that the conversation started late (probably after the bar closed) and we were talking for such a while, we became very hungry. In the small town where our college was, there was no waffle house to speak of, so we decided to stay up the rest of the night and grab breakfast when the first small town diner opened. We managed to stay up that night, and watched the sunrise. I was so comfortable with her, I enjoyed her so. We shoved into his two seater truck and drove toward the rising sun. Towards breakfast, I thought, not the future where I would be dating the girl (boy) on my right instead of the boy on my life. How serendipitous life is, and how well orchestrated our paths are.
Food for thought: Thought I don't directly identify as a lesbian, I am still very drawn to lesbians. I can "see" them, even when they aren't "out". It is an unspoken understanding of our sameness and differentness from others. It isn't a facial structure, clothing, or a haircut, it is something internal. This begs a question, if it is an unspoken mutual understanding and I am recognizing the "lesbian" in them, what are they recognizing in me. I know they see me, I just wonder what they see about me.
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